Reflections and New Beginnings

It’s that time again…time to say goodbye to the old year and hello to the new. I don’t really do resolutions, but I do like to look at where I’ve been and where I’m going.

2017 was an interesting year. A lot of fabulous highs and some lows. I’ve lost several people who were once very influential in my life and found others who I hope will become very important to me.

Professionally, this has been one of the best years ever. I completed and self-published my first novel. I obtained my level 3 teaching licensure in the spring. Right at the end of the year, I was licensed to teach high school as well. I will be teaching middle and high school New Mexico history beginning in January.

I did walk away from a couple of toxic relationships this year…people I should have separated from much sooner. My first husband passed away in April. He and I had not been close in many years but he was the father of my children and we had been married for close to 20 years. These losses caused me anxiety and depression through a lot of the year. 

This really affected my hiking. I had challenged myself to hike 1000 miles at the start of the year. Instead, I hiked just over 100 miles. I did push myself to go longer distances when I did go…several times I went further than 5 miles. I am going to continue to work toward my hike to the top of Sandia and to get closer to that 1000 mile mark in the coming year.

I did a little travelling this year. The highlight was my trip to New York and Washington D.C. over Thanksgiving. So. Much. Fun! I also went to Taos in the spring and Santa Fe a couple of times. I do plan to travel more in 2018.

Most of all, 2017 was a year of growth and change. I do not feel that I am the same person that I was at the beginning of the year.I am stronger and much more confident.

I am looking forward to continued growth in 2018. I have a new sparkly relationship. My teaching career is heading in a new direction. The second novel and the cookbook are coming together. And I have a mountain to climb! I’m very excited about the new possibilities 😊


Sitting here reminiscing over a plate of chicken fried steak and eggs, I’m amazed at how far I’ve come. Four years ago, I was scared of my own shadow. Afraid of upsetting people and hiding when I could. It’s been a long, sometimes hard journey, but despite the obstacles, I’ve come out stronger and way more confident than I ever could have dreamed. 

The anxiety I felt is subsiding. The fear is gone. And I’ve realized that if others get upset, that’s on them, not me. I am not responsible for anyone’s comfort or happiness. And on the flip side of that, no one is responsible for my happiness and comfort.

Loving every little thing about this life, this freedom. It is a truly beautiful time to be alive!

“You Have No Power Over Me!!”

This is one of my favorite scenes in the movie, Labrinth. Sara finally realizes that she is in control, rather than being controlled.

I have felt that same feeling of empowerment lately. I have been married for more than half my life. Twice…both times, I felt as if I had no control. I’ve been single for the last four years and finally feel that I am in charge.

A couple months ago, I quit talking to the second one completely. He was still controlling me to a degree through financial assistance and guilt trips and a little fear on my part. Since he’s been gone, I’ve been able to create a bit of professional success and a lot of personal security. Is everything perfect? No, but I know I can figure things out on my own.

He called last week. I realized that for my own personal growth,  I needed to put my fear and anger behind me. So I responded to his call. He came by and things were ok. But he also figured he was back and pushed to have me help him. I refused and he immediately went to threats and then told me never to ask for anything again.


And it was gone… any power he had over me is gone. I’m free!

Publication Finally :)






As I grow fonder

Of the wander

and I wonder

How much longer

Will I wander.



I’ve spent a lot of my life afraid…afraid of everything. Afraid of life.

A lot of that life hiding in books and daydreams.

And looking for love and acceptance

Or maybe looking for me.

Somewhere along the way I disappeared

I hid my true self and adopted the self others thought were best

Pretending to be what they wanted

And ignoring the little voice crying in my mind.

No more…

I’ve been slowly chipping away at those layers

Layers of other personalities

of other people’s versions of me

And like a chick breaking out of its shell

Stretching for freedom

I have found me.

And I refuse to hide again for anyone.


In the quiet moments 

I hear your voice

Whispers of the past

Haunt my memories

Days like today

Bring back the cold

The darkness of your leaving

The tears

Wishing I could’ve said something 


To make you stay

The suddenness with which you left

The finality of that shotgun blast

Left a ragged hole

Hidden deep in my mind

Which reappears without warning

Even after twenty years and more

I miss you… still.

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