Look to the east
It’s the dawn of a new day
All brand new and shiny and full of promise
Reflecting warmth and color
Bringing daydreams to life
Rays of sunlight
Reaching for Earth
Christening the morn with hope and happiness
For one heart-stopping moment
All possibility seems tangible
As sunlight dances with clouds
Then the sun peeks over the horizon
Stores her beauty for another morning
While radiantly warming our world.
Sometimes I feel my life is a lot like one of those football plays where the ball is fumbled and then slips through the hands of the players trying to pick it up and then gets kicked and then pops out from between the players trying to pick it up until it lands out of bounds.
Just when I feel like I’m getting a handle on things, it slips away and bounces off in a different direction. And it doesn’t help when the missteps are the same damn things I have been doing since I was a kid. Once, just once… I’d love for things to come out of my mouth as cool as they sound in my head.
I guess I’m still that awkward weird little kid in the back of the room.
Dark, cold and unrelenting
Fear, curling through the darkness like a fog
Panic, bubbling up and boiling over
Can’t see, can’t scream, can’t run
All the pain that adults can inflict on the young comes back in dreams.
Somehow the lock on the box is gone
The demons are loose creating havoc
On the unsuspecting, unaware of the forgotten hell
That reveals itself in the dark of night.
Is this a memory or just the product of an overactive imagination?
And the better question…
How do we get the monsters back into the box.
My son loves cheesecake and he loves peanut butter. So for his 21st birthday, I came up with this recipe☺
1 1/2 cup crushed pretzels
1/3 cup butter
5 pkg cream cheese
1 1/2 cup sugar
1 cup peanut butter
2 tsp vanilla
1 cup butterfinger pieces
1/2 cup crushed pretzels
1/2 cup butterfinger chips
1/2 cup white chocolate chips
1. Combine pretzels and butter for the crust. Press into the bottom of a greased pan. Bake at 350 for 5 minutes. Cool.
2. Beat cream cheese and sugar until smooth. Add peanut butter and vanilla. Mix well. Add eggs and beat on low until just combined. Stir in butterfinger pieces. Pour over crust.
3. Bake at 350 for 50-55 minutes or until almost set. Remove from the oven and let sit for 15 minutes.
4. Combine topping ingredients and sprinkle over cake. Bake 10 minutes longer.
5. Cool for 1 hour. Refrigerate leftovers (if you have any!)
Despite all those who said I was too much…
And despite the pain
Chairs thrown across the room
Paralyzing panic attacks
Fuck it. I’m done.
Never again will I make myself small for someone who can’t handle me.
Never again will I lose myself for another.
Never again will I remain silent.
I am me.
Love me or leave me
For I have risen from the ashes.
I miss you
Talking about nothing and everything
Knowing that anything said
Was just between us
And whispering that we were okay
Everything was going to be okay
And it was
Encouraging me to face my fears
Challenging me to move beyond
What I thought I could be