One of the interesting side-developments of this fitness journey is that I am taking on a lot of different aspects of myself. This is not just about losing weight or living a healthy lifestyle. I am finding that I am tackling some healing that needs to happen, and some things I have spent my life fighting.
I started this post thinking about dinner tonight. I have never really gotten the hang of cooking for one. I always cook too much and I tend to eat it all. Which doesn’t jive with the lifestyle I am trying to create for myself. I have to learn to eat less and healthier. I am working on changing food choices, but amounts are still challenging me. So I need to learn to give myself permission to save some for later.
I need to learn to give myself permission.
I am in charge of my life. No need to look to anyone else for permission. I’m it. No one to save me, no safety net. Pretty powerful stuff for someone who has spent her life following the lead of whoever was in charge.
No more walking on eggshells, waiting for the explosion. No more keeping my mouth shut for safety sake, even though I knew what needed to be said. No more dancing around, skirting the issue to keep the peace.
It’s somewhat scary not being scared.
Now, though, I have to learn to do some of those things that I have never really had to worry about. Money management…which I am not particularly good at. Time management…which I can do if I have a goal. And this fitness journey.
I need to give myself permission to succeed.